Is there a lot of stress and strain in your life because your children just dont listen?
Do you spend the majority of your waking moments chasing after your children because they are not listening to you, and you feel like you have to micro-manage?
Do you have no energy because all your energy is spent being frustrated and blocked by your childrens apparent inability to follow orders?
Well, the good news is you may be able to get back your time and energy and a balanced family life simply by understanding what the communication block is between you and your children.
Of course, every child is unique. Some children need their freedom more than others. Some children enjoy structure, and some do not. But what they all do have is one, two, three or four communication modalities or communication modes in common.
What is a communication modality or mode?
As Dr. Robby, Director of the LMC Relationship Centre, Developer of the Better Parents, Better Kids Program, and co-author of our e-book, Better Parents, Better Kids, explains:
“Communication is the result you get. Different people are on different channels. We learn, we express love and communicate through different modes or combinations of modes. It is important to know who you are playing with and what channel they are playing on, or else your communication will not be very effective. We basically all want to get what we want. If you cannot get your message through of what your needs, wants, dreams, goals and visions are, you will be very frustrated and stressed. So an understanding of communication modes is a basic skill for relationship success, whether that is a relationship with a partner, your children, friends, family or coworkers.”
The following is a very basic definition of the communication modes. You can be primarily one mode or a mixture of up to all four.
Visual people communicate by seeing and doing. They like activities and they like gifts. They notice people, places and things with just the slightest glance. They feel and share love by doing things with or for other people. They take things at face value and do not look deeper into things. They learn by seeing and doing.
Auditory people communicate through talking. They have the natural gift of the gab, are designed to be able to talk for long periods of time. They enjoy talking and listening to other people talk. They feel loved when they are talked to, and like to hear the words “I love you.” They learn by hearing.
Digital people communicate through connection and understanding. They find the deeper meaning in everything they think, see and do. Understanding is very important to them. They feel loved when they share connections with others and are understood. They learn by understanding.
Kinesthetic people communicate through their bodies. They move, feel and express through their bodies. Kinesthetics love to touch, feel, do physical activities and hug. They feel loved when they are touched. They learn through touch and through experience.